Close to my Heart

What Really Motivates Us

2011-01-10T12:49:00.002-05:00

I came across a great talk by Dan Pink at the RSA. It might help you understand human motivation to work especially relevant in the modern workplace.
He says three factors shown by scientific research that lead to better performance and personal satisfaction are Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose. Watch the video for details:

Dan Pink also gave a similar talk at TED sometime back which some of you might have seen:

The TED talk doesn't seem to appear embedded in Google reader, so here is the direct link.

Will Smith's Wisdom

2010-04-07T09:53:00.004-04:00

You've definitely got to watch this video completely. I've always admired Will Smith but now I totally respect him as well.
He has such an enthusiasm for life and lives it so powerfully that anyone can get inspired by his passion.

A few quotes from the video:
"You have to believe it. There's no reason to have a plan B 'cause it distracts from plan A."
"Being realistic is the most commonly travelled road to mediocrity."
"The second I decide it's done, it's done."
And he also quotes Confucious "He who says he can and he who says he can't are both usually right."
I find these all so true.

Here and Now

2010-03-23T11:41:00.003-04:00

I came across this wonderful quote by Alan Watts.
What you do is what the whole universe is doing at the place called "here and now".

Alan Watts has written more than twenty-five books and recorded hundreds of lectures and seminars. He studied the eastern philosophies of Buddhism, Taoism and Hinduism.
I didn't know about him until two days back when I came across his book "Buddhism The Religion of No-Religion" at a local bookstore.

Living in the Moment

2010-03-20T13:40:00.016-04:00

Do you regret something you did in the past or hold a grudge against something bad that happened to you?
Do you enjoy doing simple chores like washing the dishes or organizing your files? Or do you grumpily go through the tasks you don't like?
Are you worried about a future event like an exam result, a job promotion or about the future of a relationship?
If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then you are NOT living in the moment. You are not enjoying some of the precious moments of your life.

Our lives may sometimes seem mundane. We may not feel loved, appreciated or valued.

We may be led to believe that we can be happy only if something happens. For instance, we will only feel good if we make a lot of money, get married or become successful in our business.

But have you wondered that those are just our own feelings and thoughts? And we have the ability to change those.
If we give the utmost importance to every moment and live like it is the best day of our lives, the whole experience of life changes.
Knowing that we create our own experiences takes the power away from other people and circumstances - and makes us in-charge of our lives.
Each one of us can live life king size if we realize that every moment is completely new and fresh and that in every moment, we have the ability to be the person we want to be irrespective of our past, family or background.
To be the person we want to be, we need to stay grounded in the present. And to help with that, we can implement certain techniques.

I will briefly explain about three such techniques that I have been using for a few months now and have found effective.

Positive affirmations: Affirming positive things about ourselves and others, makes us believe in those. e.g., Every morning I repeat that "I'm going to have a great day"; Since I'm new to Toronto, I say "I make friends easily"; Before giving a speech, I assure myself that "I am a great speaker"; We can repeat these affirmations whenever we feel negative about something. Even affirmations about other people change our attitude towards them, e.g. I affirm that "My co-workers are very helpful"; "My family loves me very much"; "I'm respected by my boss". And now I find other people's gestures as more helpful, loving and respectful. So, doing this exercise can have amazing results. I am experiencing how I can change my life by simply changing my attitude.
Meditation: In its purest form, one can try breath meditation like yoga. In the simplest form of this exercise, once can just go over the events of the day and analyze the actions and thoughts. We can learn what could be done better the next time. For example, if I feel angry at someone, I analyze what I did to make myself feel that way. The key here is to NOT analyze what other people did or what the circumstances were. When things don't turn out the way we want or when we judge people for being different or for behaving in a certain way, we experience negativity. Meditation gives us a way to analyze and learn from our own experiences. The responsibility for my happiness is always mine. It is different from placing blame on yourself - meditation is the gentle process of learning carried out with self-love.
Gratitude. It helps not only to increase self love but love for life in general. Gratitude is appreciation for the here and now. If we are thankful for the now, we focus on the present rather than the past or the future. Even though we may face challenging situations, there can be always something to be thankful for -- like the family, friends, home, electricity, food to eat, the smallest things in life. I know it appears hard to feel thankful especially if the situation looks bleak! It seems far easier to feel as if we are a victim of circumstances. But then as a victim, we lose the power over our own lives. Once you start to notice beauty even in the little things, you will find your life changing!

It is helpful to remember that it's a learning process that takes time and practice and it is okay to fail while learning.
There can be many more tools and each of us can find some more suitable to our personality. Just accepting that the quality of life at any moment is totally in our control, is the first and the biggest step.
After that, all it takes is a little effort every moment and it becomes easier and easier every day.
To conclude, I would say that "If we let go of the burden of the past and the worry of the future, and simply live in the blissful present moment, life is easy and beautiful."

P.S.: I presented this as a speech at my Toastmasters club

Total Freedom

2010-03-19T15:13:00.002-04:00

I have been analyzing my thoughts, feelings and actions for some time now. I've also been reading books, blogs and other articles related to spirituality and how we, as human beings, behave.

I have realized that most of our thoughts, feelings and actions are based on our perceptions of people or situations. And these perceptions are formed due to our past experiences and our social conditioning.

That's why different cultures and different people have a different sense of rights and wrongs.

In India, someone choosing to not live with their parents is something frowned upon. Whereas in most of the Western cultures, grown-up children are expected to leave their parents' home and live independently. In fact, they think something is wrong with adults who live with their parents.

So, which one of these do you think is right?

In truth, there is no right or wrong. It is what it is.

We even label people as being good or bad, judge them for behaving differently than we expect. But we all behave the way we do because of our experiences that condition us.

So, when we judge, we forget, that just like we didn't have any control over where we were born, what our circumstances were, how we were raised, others didn't either.

So, if we move beyond all the perceptions and accept everyone and everything as it is and lead our life doing whatever we want to do, loving every moment, we would be truly free.

Crusades on India

2010-02-19T15:51:00.001-05:00

Some history about the crusades on India by Islamic rulers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8MCl0bHVXo

Some modern Indian sub-continent history:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdabtVzZi2E

These videos are insightful, especially the first one but are very Islam-focussed and don't emphasize the role played by the West. Especially in the second video, it completely neglects the support provided by United States and other western countries (for their own purpose) in arming Pakistan and Taliban in the first place.

Need Inspiration?

2010-02-05T10:09:00.002-05:00

So many of us give up when faced with obstacles.
Well, a Muslim woman organized a TEDx conference in a village in the backward Shekhavati area of Rajasthan against all odds. I was totally moved by the story of this strong woman.
Read her inspiring story about TEDx Shekhavati at Chris Anderson's blog.

Toxins: Effects and How to Remove

2009-10-22T07:01:00.006-04:00

Just like water can't flow properly through a drain that is blocked, our blood circulation and hence the nutrient absorption won't be efficient if there are toxins in our blood.
Examples of some effects of the presence of toxins in the body:

Skin problems like acne, skin allergies, rashes
Kidney stones
Chronic fatigue and low energy levels
Swelling
Stomach irritations
Altered metabolism (which can lead to obesity)
Weakened immunity due to low absorption of nutrients
Even cancer in serious cases

Toxins are absorbed from the environment or because some chemicals are produced in the body due to negative emotions. Toxins accumulate because our body is unable to excrete those in some way. Some most common reasons for toxin accumulation:

Improper breathing
Lack of exercise
Low fluid intake
Negative thoughts and beliefs, stress
Improper diet
Incomplete excretion of waste products

Ways to purify blood (rakta shodhan in Sanskrit) and the body by removing the toxins:

Proper breathing: 80% of the toxins are removed from the body via the breath. For more details on breathing, check out my post.
Yoga and yoga breathing routines like Pranayama: This calms the mind and removes stress which can be a major cause in the toxin build-up.
Sweating: Sweat is another way the body releases toxins. The ideal way to sweat would be to exercise but one could also use sauna once in a while or other ways to sweat.
Regular exercise: Exercise improves blood circulation and aids in the proper functioning of body organs and produces sweat.
Drink lot of fluids: Drink at least 8-10 glasses of water (more if you sweat a lot). You can also have juices or add something to water like lemon juice, electrolytes, glucose etc to replenish the loss of essential electrolytes from the body. In fact, warm water with the juice of 1 lemon taken in the morning on an empty stomach is a great liver detoxifier, and has been shown to aid in weight loss.
Ayurvedic blood cleansing: You could try some commercially available ayurvedic compositions used for cleansing the blood and the body. You could also use some herbs that aid in cleansing the blood like Neem, Triphala, Turmeric, Manjishta.
Diet improvements: Include food in your diet that naturally helps cleanse the body - fiber rich foods like whole grains, green vegetables, fruits etc. And avoid processed food, food containing preservatives or any kind of chemicals in it.
Fasting: Various forms of fasting could be regularly undertaken to let the digestive system remove toxins. You could go on a fruit fast for a day where only fruits and water are had during the whole day (you could have an early dinner to make it easier). You could also go for a complete fast where only water is had during the day. The first few times fasting would seem difficult but after that you would notice a feeling of being active, light and your thoughts would improve. Fasting is supposed to make the mind calm and is suitable for meditation. Make sure you start fasting with one day at a time - maybe once in a week or ten days. Ensure that you don't indulge in too much eating the next day. Fasting will be effective if we have a regular balanced diet during the non-fasting days.
Go caffeine free: Or at least reduce the intake of caffeine.
Sleep well: Have a regular sleep schedule so that the body has enough rest and the biological cycle is well maintained.
Ayurvedic Massage: Massage improves blood circulation. Upon absorption through the skin, the medicated oils help to remove toxins from the system.

Please share your experiences or any more suggestions for toxin removal. Also, it would be great to hear from you after you use these techniques.
More later!

Health and Breathing

2009-10-19T05:52:00.004-04:00

Before reading further, take a deep breath in and as you exhale, consciously feel your body and mind "RELAXING".
What could be more natural than breathing? But most of us don't realize that breathing — an act that we do some 20,000 times each day — is more than just our method of surviving, it deeply influences our health and happiness. I was unaware too until I started practicing yoga. Yoga incorporates breathing exercises (pranayama) in order to find the balance between mind and body; improving health and happiness. The heavy emphasis on breathing within yoga got me interested in researching more about this simple daily activity and I wanted to share what I found.
Chemically, breathing is a process of combustion of fuel using oxygen that releases energy and the bi-products of carbon dioxide, water and other waste products – here food is the fuel and energy released is what we use to walk, eat, run etc.
Just like for a car to be efficient, its engine has to be efficient during combustion, similarly, for a body to be efficient in absorbing nutrients and removing waste/toxins, its “combustion process” - breathing - has to be correct.
Consider the following facts:

Science has proven that cancer is anaerobic - it does not survive in high levels of oxygen.
Shortness of breath and heart disease are directly linked.
Studies have shown that there is a high correlation between high blood pressure and poor breathing.
Most emotional issues, including depression, result from the nervous system being out of balance. And breathing drives the nervous system.
Research has suggested that fast, shallow breathing can cause: Fatigue, sleep disorders, anxiety, stomach upset, heartburn, gas, muscle cramps, dizziness, visual problems, chest pain and heart palpitations.
Optimal Breathing helps to promote weight loss as oxygen burns fat and calories.
Breathing well is the key to sleeping well and waking up feeling rested.
Breathing provides 99% of our energy.
Virtually every health condition and human activity is improved with Optimal Breathing.

Here's what happens when we breathe: Breathing oxygenates every cell and organ of our bodies. Oxygen purifies our blood by removing poisonous waste products. Irregular breathing will reduce oxygen supply, hamper this purification process and cause waste products to remain in circulation. Digestion will then become irregular, leaving tissues and organs undernourished. This will ultimately lead to fatigue and heightened anxiety states.
Have you noticed that when you are in stress your shoulders rise up and you breathe quickly and shallow? I want you to try breathing like that right now – do you realize that it produces more stress and breathlessness? Now, if you breathe slowly and up to the stomach, can you see the stress go away immediately? This is the most basic way to deal with stress. Even most of the self-help books suggest breathing deeply to relax before going for an interview or before delivering a speech.
Most people these days are "shallow breathers" — they use only the narrow top portion of the lungs. Now, the question would be "How does our breath become fast and shallow?" The major reasons are:

We are in a hurry most of the time. And our movements and breathing follow this pattern.
The increasing stress of modern living makes us breathe more quickly and less deeply.
Modern technology and automation reduce our need for physical activity and there is less need to breathe deeply.
There is increased exposure to pollution. As a result, the body instinctively inhales less air to protect itself.

Performing incorrect breathing habits over time can lead to permanent problems such as fatigue, weakened immune system, insomnia etc.
Breathing is the only bodily function that we do both voluntarily and involuntarily. So, the good news is that these habits are reversible. With regular practice we can breathe correctly most of the time, even while asleep.
The first rule for correct breathing is that we should breathe through the nose. This may seem obvious, but many people breathe mostly through the mouth. The nose has various defense mechanisms to prevent impurities and particles and excessively cold air from entering the body that may injure the lungs if you breathe through the mouth.
Now, the second step in proper breathing is to breathe through the abdomen. To practice that, lie down on the floor with your legs straight, arms at your sides, your palms up, and your eyes closed. Take time to relax your body and breathe freely. Keep your left hand on your chest and right hand on your stomach. Breathe through your nose and as you breathe, if only the left hand seems to rise and fall, your breathing is shallow and you are not properly using the lower part of your lungs. The chest and abdomen should rise as you inhale and fall as you exhale. This inhale and exhale process should continue comfortably and smoothly. This correct breathing is effortless and comes naturally to us. If you practice this correct breathing daily, it will eventually become involuntary and won’t require any conscious effort.
Using and learning proper breathing techniques is one of the most basic steps that can be taken to improve our physical and emotional health.

Healing is Natural to Body

2009-10-15T04:16:00.002-04:00

Health and happiness is our natural state. Whenever there is any disturbance - emotional/dietary/environmental - only then is that natural state disturbed.
But the great news is that everyone of us can get back to a great health, to our natural state of being - all it needs is an "UNDO" - to unlearn the way of life that created that disease in the first place.

Watch this amazing talk below by Dr. Dean Ornish at a TED conference.
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/dean_ornish_on_healing.html

Headaches

2009-10-12T13:56:00.012-04:00

Almost every one of us has experienced a headache in our lives. Some have it throbbing, some have it on the forehead, some have it on one side of the head. Whatever the kind of headache, it's annoying especially for people who have frequent headaches or have some kind of chronic headaches or migraines.
I've myself had migraines for many years since childhood. But I've had an enormous relief during the past one year.
During my quest to cure myself of the headaches, I've learned a lot about the reason for these aches and have reduced the frequency of my headaches and can most of the times even get relief from a headache without medication.
Some of the possible reasons for headaches:

Stress
Self Criticism
Negative belief about certain conditions inducing headaches (e.g., sun, strong smells, certain foods etc.)
Feeling of being out of flow in life

How to Cure:

Get comfortable with the reasons for your headaches - For example, most of my headaches were induced by going out in the bright sun. I came across a technique called "Sunning" (by William Bates) to make myself and my eyes comfortable in sun. You can benefit from the sun by simply letting the sun shine on your closed eyelids for about a minute or two. Close you eyelids and face the sun. Then, move your head slowly such that the sun rays warm even the corners of your eyes and the temples. Breathe deeply while sunning and enjoy the sun energizing your eyes and forehead. Do NOT open your eyes while doing this and facing the sun. To avoid any harmful effects due to ultraviolet radiations and for best results, perform this in the morning or evening. This technique is part of the Bates method for improving vision. Sunning is an ancient tradition in India. Sun is the source of life and sunlight energizes the entire visual system.
Relax - There could be many techniques like a head or a body massage, sleeping, enjoying with friends, dancing or whatever you like. I have devised a simple exercise that could make you feel relaxed anywhere and anytime and helps while you are having a headache. While taking a deep and slow breath in, feel yourself getting relaxed, imagine the oxygen you breathe relaxing your nerves in the head, your pain melting away, your eyebrows and the skin around your forehead relaxing, glow coming back to your skin and you enjoying this simple yet exhilarating breath. Then breathe out all the stress and feel the pain getting released and the headache going away. The headache may go away in a few breaths or a few minutes.
Tea - Sometimes a simple cup of tea can help during a headache.
Aromatherapy - Some herbs like lavender, peppermint, eucalyptus can help a headache. There are balms or aromatherapy gels/lotions that can be used to massage the head.
Practice yoga and meditation - Practicing regularly will eliminate your stress and headaches and will also help you maintain an overall great health. This will also improve your breathing. So, this is a great catch - while curing your headaches, also get a great mind and body and reduce weight :)
Get your vision tested - Sometimes headaches may be due to eyesight fluctuations. So, make sure that's not one of the reasons.
Love yourself and forgive yourself - This is most important and is vital if you want to lead a healthy and happy life. So, whenever you catch yourself criticising yourself or someone else or a situation, use some wisdom from Shakespeare - realize that life is just a stage and we are all actors here :)
Life is perfect - Just be sure that all is well in life and nothing happening around you deserves stress. The happiness is in enjoying the moment NOW.

I hope this helps you the next time you have a headache.
I'd be happy to hear your stories about relieving headaches, please leave your comments..

Curing Flu without Medication

2009-09-14T13:30:00.007-04:00

Most of us have fought the flu - the sore throats, the phlegm, the discomfort, the sneezing and the coughs.
And we know it's not pretty. It comes unannounced and the after effects continue from a few days to weeks.
Many of us use cough syrups, antibiotics or other medicines that suppress the flu symptoms. The worst part is that it makes us feel drained out and weak.
Most of us have our own stories about the flu, like,
If I get flu, it takes at least two weeks for me to get ok.
I get congestion when I have flu.
If I drink something too cold, I get a sore throat, then I get cold and fever.
During the change of season, I usually get the flu because of the weather.
If I eat something too sour, my throat becomes sore and I get flu.
During the flu, I get too much phlegm and I have breathing problems.

There could be many different stories around flu and each of these stories determine our reaction to the flu and how much it affects our body.
I recently caught the flu after a long time. I got the usual dry throat followed by sore throat, fever, sneezing, weakness and phlegm. After the flu, I started analyzing my thoughts just before the flu. I had been thinking that I hadn't had flu in a long time and I was happy but a little fearful that I may get it as many people around me had.
When I got flu, I had the feeling of weakness and there was a little negativity about the state. During the next two days, I felt uncomfortable and weak but I didn't take medicines. I only took care of the food intake and used herbal remedies to help my body fight it (see the herbal remedy I used at the end of this post). After two days of fever and weakness, I decided that I am NOT sick. I realized that I didn't have flu but only my body did. And my body had it because probably its immune system was a little weak due to some negative thoughts.
After my decision, I was energetic, I was okay with the current situation and let my body go through the process but didn't let my mind feel the sickness. Many of you may not believe, but the next day I was almost completely healed. There was no fever, no throat discomfort and almost no phlegm.
What I realized was that my thoughts and feelings have a huge control over my body and its state of health. I could never have believed that my thinking induced sickness in my body but I could see it this time.
I have now taken a decision that I AM WELL.
You can try this too. Every time you feel sick, analyze the feelings and thoughts you had when you got sick and also the current thoughts. Modify those thoughts and feel healthy. Staying healthy is simply a choice. You either choose to stay in the negativity or choose to cure yourself out of anything.

Herbal remedy for flu, sore throat and cold:
1.5 tablespoons fennel seeds (saunf)
4-5 basil leaves - fresh or dry (tulsi)
7 whole peppercorn (kaali mirch sabut)
1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger or dry ginger powder (prefer fresh ginger)

Add the above ingredients to 2 cups of water and let it boil till the water becomes 1 cup. Sieve this mixture into a cup. Then add 3-4 teaspoons honey and squeeze fresh juice of half a lemon. Stir well and sip it.
This will taste like ginger honey lemon tea.
Drink this upto 3-4 times in a day.
You may add black tea to the mixture if you want.

Stress and Health

2009-09-09T07:00:00.007-04:00

Health is one of the major concerns in the present-day world. Compared to ancient India, much of the treatment in urban India is currently focused on modern medicine and surgeries.
Most of the modern medicine is based on the treatment of symptoms. Treating the symptom with medicines just removes the body signal of the actual problem leaving the body to fight it. In the meantime, we go about the usual business thinking that since the symptom is absent, we are healed.
Many people with chronic diseases like migraines, sinusitis, asthma go on getting their symptoms treated and expect their diseases to get treated. In turn, they get used to the recurrence of the symptoms and higher dose of medication each time. The same goes for diabetes and hypertension patients. The cycle of medicine becomes never-ending resulting in side effects to other parts of the body. Ultimately, this results in a perpetual reliance on medicines.
So, you can see how this pharmaceutical and health industry thrives even in the worst of times. And how unaware people keep on neglecting the actual source of their health issues.

Each kind of body ailment is due to a different kind of stress (mostly mental and sometimes bodily) that a person takes upon. If that source of stress is removed, the body ailment and also its symptom would go away.
For example, a person with high blood pressure has various symptoms like weight gain/loss, blurred vision, fatigue, anger or sometimes excessive symptoms like heart attack etc. Taking a medication for controlling the blood pressure would be a way to just avoid having symptoms. But the actual treatment would be to find out why the blood pressure is high - in most cases which is fat deposits in the arteries of the heart. Some of the causes could be stress/negative thinking, overeating (which may again have an emotional reason) etc.

In the early stages of health deterioration, exercise (this also creates a feeling of well being by releasing feel good hormones called "endorphins) and maintaining good mental health by removing unnecessary stress will make sure that most of the health issues go away.

Keeping a positive outlook or de-stressing sounds easy to many people. But for someone who has lived in a stressful environment or has had a difficult/traumatic past, such a mental state is the most difficult to attain.
For those people, many alternate techniques like yoga or therapies like acupressure and counselling would definitely help change the attitude towards circumstances and life and hence would positively affect the well being of the person. It is scientifically proven that a positive attitude makes the immune system stronger. So, the body is able to fight different infections better.

So, the next time you get sick, think of what has been going on in your mind recently. Try to get a different perspective of your situation, exercise and eat well and make a commitment to yourself that "I AM WELL." This commitment itself and its true feeling results in a healthy and confident state of mind.

Want to Change the World?

2009-09-09T03:07:00.002-04:00

I know most of us have this idea of a perfect world that we want to live in. We see various environmentalists, social workers, thinkers debating alike that the world is going crazier and the future generations will have it all bad. And the overdose of media and news channels in trying to convince all the people about this bad world doesn't help either.

All these social issues, climate changes, new innovations have always been there in this world - even before human beings evolved.

The temperatures on earth have been changing from very hot to ice-like. Life has evolved from single cells to dinosaurs to human beings.

During the human history, there have always been wars, politics, development of new tools and the rise and fall of different empires/cultures.

Each one of those phases has had its share of turmoil. Which one of those phases do you think is the perfect one?

What if the one you thought was perfect didn't really turn out to be that good?

I think the best way to change the world is to change how you see it.

There will always be issues and problems in everyone's life and in this world. And changing the way we see things doesn't mean we don't care about anything. It just means we don't worry unnecessarily and just do our part while living completely and fully for NOW - not for some ideal, imaginary world but just for this present moment.

Who Am I?

2009-09-07T05:36:00.006-04:00

I am not my body.
I am not my mind.
I am not my name.
I am not my job.
I am not my friends.
I am not my family.

I don't die. I don't have any disease. I am not weak. I am not alone. I am not bad. I am not good either.
I am not who you say I am and I am not even who I say I am.

I am not separate from you. I am a part of you.

Reality

2009-09-03T03:51:00.003-04:00

One bright day in the middle of the night two dead boys rose to fight.
Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot one another.
A deaf policeman heard the noise, and saved the lives of the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
~Author Unknown

Think about this:

What if the world as you see it is different from the world as I see it?
What if there is no absolute truth?
What if there is nothing out there in the world?
What if we don't have a purpose in life?
What if everything we perceive is governed by some factors that are different for every person?
What if there is just self and everything else is just happening around you and has no significance?

These are some of the many questions that have bothered me.
The concept of reality has intrigued me very much. So, I will make an attempt to write about what I make of reality and the world around us.

For each one of us, the reality about an event, a person, a situation is different. In spite of that, all of us like to believe that our interpretation is "THE" absolute reality.
This is the core of all human conflicts.

Some of the ways we perceive reality are through our personal checks for reality like our:
Past experiences
Senses
Feelings
Beliefs
Intuition
Thoughts
Personal logic

Most of us base our present and future according to our past experiences. We modify our behaviour and the way we look at things based on the past. By doing this, we force ourselves to look at the present and the future through the spectacles of the past. This limits our experience of life and makes us judge the situations.
Similarly, our five senses, thoughts and feelings govern so much of our perception. We judge others based on our feelings and thoughts.
More than that, most people think about their beliefs as if those were reality. All of us have a set of beliefs about everything - such as code of conduct, moral values and ethics.

We base our life according to all these personal checks for reality. All our actions are based on our perception that is a result of these.
Even right now, each one of you has your own interpretation about this blog article and about me. We all have our own thoughts and feelings creating our stories.
Using our perception and interpretation we decide if something is right or wrong OR good or bad. And that is what results in unhappiness, dissatisfaction and suffering. Have you ever wondered what our life would be without this perception and the meanings we create out of every event?
If we didn't have this perception, I suppose we would live in a perfect bliss with our circumstances just reduced to something happening in the background.
Most of the religions in this world teach us to be in this natural state of existence - in that state one has complete love for others and oneself and there is no expectation from any events or from other people. Buddhism even has a kind of meditation called Vipassana which teaches how to simply observe such thoughts/feelings/judgements and ignore those to alleviate the suffering of human beings.
It's very difficult to completely ignore all these factors and is highly impractical in this world. But by not giving too much importance to this perception of circumstances and people, we could make our life much simpler and happier.
To conclude, I would like to quote Albert Einstein:
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Tips to Speak in English as a Non-Native Speaker

2009-04-01T04:18:00.006-04:00

As a non-native English speaker and after my experience of being a member of a Toastmasters club, I have the following tips for people who want to improve their speaking skills in English:

Use simple words
Use short sentences so it's easier to understand
Think in English while writing a speech and also while speaking
Speak every word completely and maybe slowly - I've heard many non-native speakers not complete the ending of their words, leaving their speech incomprehensible
Practice, practice, practice - in front of a mirror, in front of a friend before the actual speech
Read books/newspapers aloud
Watch English TV and news, talk to native English-speaking friends and colleagues - this is the best way to learn an accent
Record your speeches
Check the dictionary for proper pronunciation of words
Do NOT fear that your English is worse than native English speakers. You may even have a better grip on the grammar and vocabulary than the native speakers.
Be confident about yourself and in the end focus on connecting with the audience and conveying your message. Accent or the way you speak is not more important than the purpose of your speech/presentation.

How to Bargain and Get the Best Prices

2009-03-17T02:12:00.009-04:00

Ever wondered why you paid a higher price than your friend for the same item? What made the seller quote a higher amount to you? What could you have done to get the best bargain?

Back from the US after living there for two years, I'd forgotten the art of haggling. But after setting up my home in India from scratch, I think I've re-learned the tricks a bit :)
A few tips that can be of help:

Remember that the seller wants to sell the item to you. So, you're always at advantage.
Do NOT be shy to bargain.
Do NOT wear expensive clothes or in general give an impression that you can spend a lot of money. If you have two vehicles, take the cheaper one to go shopping.
Start shopping early in the day as the shopkeepers do not want to turn away the first customers and will offer their best prices.
Know what is the right price for the item you want to buy. Before you decide on what you want to buy, ask your friends/relatives and survey the market a little to know how much you can bargain. Some shops quote much higher price and require much more haggling than others.
Even if you're not sure, pretend that you know a lot about the prevailing market price and about the product.
Mention repeatedly that the price on offer is "too high".
Never appear too impressed with the item you want to buy. That will make the seller's need to sell more than your need to buy and hence give you an advantage.
If you want really good deals, do not go to prettier or expensive looking shops, they would have higher margins of profit and hence higher prices.
It's best to mention that you were referred to this shop by someone so they know that you're aware of the prices and the quality of products available there. And you may also get a little more discount that way.
Quote a final figure that you're willing to pay and be prepared to walk away if the seller doesn't agree. In most cases, they will re-quote a price slightly higher than yours, but stick to yours if you know that is what you want to pay. Better still, in the beginning itself, quote a lower price so it is open to increase. You may even be pleasantly surprised if you get that low price.
You can get much better bargains at flea/street markets since the sellers there have lesser profit margins.
Remember that you will always get a product much cheaper if you buy it directly from the maker/producer. So, find out if you have some exhibitions or sellers from other regions of the country directly selling their products.
Off-season products are easiest to bargain. For instance, sellers want to get rid of their woollens at the end of winters and would be more open to decreasing the price.

Note that these tips can't be used in a fixed-price shop. So, make sure you know that the shop is open to bargaining (the "fixed-price shop" sign may be misleading). You can bargain at most of the shops that don't carry a price tag because they usually quote different prices to different people. Bargaining is a skill that can be easily acquired. But it does need some patience, knowledge and an urge to save money.

I'm sure many of you have your own tips or stories. Please feel free to share those in the comments.

Happy Shopping!

Why the World Still Needs Feminists?

2009-03-10T03:01:00.014-04:00

fem-i-nism: "The doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men."

This post is two days late for the International Women's Day but I believe that every day is women's day. Why do women need a special day in the year to be recognized and celebrated? Shouldn't everyday be a celebration of womanhood? But the truth is far from it.
Women the world over, not only in India, are abused physically, sexually and mentally.
In India, every three minutes, a crime is committed against a woman. Every six hours, a young married woman is burned, beaten to death or driven to commit suicide. And according to the third National Family Health Survey published in 2006 (NFHS 3), over 40 percent of Indian women have been victims of domestic violence at some stage in their lives.
Domestic violence is not restricted to an illiterate or poor population. 60 percent of women killed in the United States are victims of domestic violence, and it is the leading cause of injury among women in the age group of 15 - 44. In an educated country like Switzerland, statistics show that 12.6% of Swiss women suffer from physical violence, while 11.6% have faced sexual violence.
And we're not listing the small but awful acts against females such as stalking, eve-teasing, purdah, curbing freedom etc.

This is why we need women education and independence. We need feminists to bring justice to such women, to raise awareness about such crimes and to help the abused women lead a normal life.

Why do you think women, especially the ones who are educated, bear all this abuse? One of the reasons is social conditioning. Many women are raised in their family to agree to what their men say. Another big reason could be that these women don't feel confident to live independently, to raise their voice against injustice and don't think they have enough moral/financial support. Also, the social stigma, especially in India, associated with women who go against their men or family is a big deterrent. In all these cases, education and hence financial independence would play a key role in helping the women out of such situations.

Many urban men think that women have all the freedom and rights in the society and that feminists are women who want much more than equality.
I do agree that there are some women who try to take advantage of their womanhood to get special privileges. But who says all women are perfect?

For centuries, women have been considered by men (fathers, brothers or husbands) as their or their family's property/pride.
I wish such men would know the answer to the eternal question of "What women want". This was so correctly answered in the story of King Arthur and the Witch. A woman only wants to be in charge of her own life, to have the freedom to choose. And when all the women in the world get this freedom, there'll be no need of feminists.
Until then, all you men out there, let the feminists do their job.

Making a Change - The Easy Way!!

2009-02-25T06:22:00.007-05:00

One of the initiatives of AID Gurgaon (a branch of AID - Association for India's Development) is to find sponsorships for education of underprivileged children.
During this time of the year, they are looking for the yearly sponsorship of a few deserving students. The yearly education cost for each student (including tuition, travel, books and uniform) is about Rs 5000.
Now, it may seem a large sum for some people especially if one person has to pay it in one go.
But how about 18 people contributing Rs 5000 for a year??

This is what my group of friends (we call ourselves, Nomads) is doing. We're each contributing equally to fund a child's education for a year - doesn't make a hole in the pocket and doesn't affect people who're already donating money to other causes. If the progress is good, we hope to help this child complete her education by funding every year.
Now, if each one of us contributes this one drop, we all can make an ocean of change!

Note: If anyone wishes to sponsor a child's education (in part or whole), please leave a comment and I'll contact you.

Google SMS Info in India

2009-02-25T04:15:00.006-05:00

I got to know about this interesting Google India service from a friend of mine.
http://www.google.co.in/mobile/default/sms/

This is what the webpage says:

"Get cricket scores, Indian Railways train schedules & ticket status, horoscopes, movie showtimes, restaurant information and more ...all through SMS on your phone.
Best of all, you don't pay a premium charge for any of this, just the price of a standard SMS.

Try it out! Simply send your search query by SMS to 9-77-33-00000 and we'll send you results back by SMS immediately.

Of course, don't forget to save 9-77-33-00000 to your phonebook for quick and easy access to Google SMS in the future!"

The website has an interactive demo to try the help and all the features. I especially loved the weather report, definitions, flight and railway status.

Some interesting queries, as listed on the webpage, could be:

"5000 inr in usd", "1 kilo in pounds", "weather gurgaon", "define blogging", "75F in C"

Now, one doesn't need an internet-enabled phone to get such basic information :)

Google zindabad!

The Upcoming Indian General Elections

2009-02-16T06:07:00.007-05:00

What do you think about the upcoming general elections?
It's one of the most important events this year and concerns most of us Indians, I'm excluding NRIs :)

On the blogger world, I can see many people vouching for Arun Shourie as BJP's PM candidate although Advani is the current one.
Check out:
http://www.deeshaa.org/2009/01/15/draft-arun-shourie/
http://lifeandsomething.blogspot.com/2009/01/brief-case-for-shri-shourie.html

What are your thoughts about these elections or who you would want to be the PM?

I'm personally against Congress, especially, since the only politics they've played till now (for the last more than 60 years) is minority appeasement, communalism and dynasty politics - none of which are progressive.
It's sad for a democracy of a billion people with no other deserving candidates in the foray.

There are many good grassroots level social movements/activities going on but those are so scattered and unrelated that we don't see any united, political movement coming out of it, at least not in the near future.

My idea for the political scenario in India to change is to introduce honest, ability-based politics (maybe in a very dilute form) in educational institutions (of all kinds, private, public, govt, in rural and urban areas). Also, introducing compulsory community work in all schools would make the children aware of the real issues and the surroundings. Because the only way to affect the future is to do it through the future generation so that it values commitment, hard work, honesty etc.
This way we could also see leaders emerge from among the youth. Currently, most Indian parents and hence the children are just concerned with academics (required for white collar jobs), no one even thinks of entering politics.
This could also make the future voters aware about what qualities they should look for while voting.
I know many would have reservations about this idea saying a lot of Indian population is illiterate and many children don't even attend schools. Well, that's where the grassroots level organizations would come into play :)
Wishful thinking, is it really?

What would you (want to) do for the politics in India to change in the long run? Any ideas on how to enable the educated, deserving people to enter Indian politics?
Or if you don't care, why do you think you are not concerned (apart from the usual "Chalta hai; It doesn't affect me directly; I earn enough and I'm happy; Nothing's going to change; Politics is always dirty" etc) ?

What is "Self"?

2007-08-03T11:17:00.000-04:00

A famous tale from the old Khandogya Upanishad

A GOD and a demon went to learn about the Self from a sage. They studied with him for a long time. At last the sage told them, "You yourselves are the being you are seeking."
Both of them thought that their bodies were the Self. The demon went back to his people quite satisfied and said, "I have learnt everything that was to be learnt: eat, drink, and be merry; we are the Self; there is nothing beyond us."
The demon was ignorant by nature; so he never inquired any further, but was perfectly contented with the idea that he was God and that by the Self was meant the body.
The god thought at first, "I, this body, am Brahman; so let me keep it strong and healthy, and well dressed, and give it all sorts of enjoyments."
But soon he found out that that could not be the meaning of the sage, there must be something else to the instruction. So he came back and said: "Did you teach me that this body was the Self? If so, I see that all bodies die; but the Self should not die."
The sage said: "You are that."
Then the god thought that the vital forces which work the body were what he meant by the Self. But after a time he found that if he ate, these vital forces remained strong, but if he starved, they became weak. The god then went back to the sage and said, "Do you mean that the vital forces are the Self?"
The sage said: "You are that."
The god returned home once more, thinking that it was the mind, perhaps, that was the Self. But in a short while he saw that his thoughts were so many and diverse - now good, again bad; the mind was too changeable to be the Self. He went back to the sage and said: "I don't think that the mind is the Self. Did you mean that?"
"No," replied the sage; "you are that."
The god went home and at last found the true Self, beyond all thought: It was one and without birth or death, called endless, omniscient, and omnipotent Being - not body or the mind, but beyond them and yet manifesting through these vehicles. [Via 588 - taken from Khandogya Upanishad, 8.7-15]

Now, I'm still looking for "that", the true Self.